Donnie Wahlberg Hanging Tough While Fellating Boston PD

Our old pal Chris Faraone, writing at our new pal Dig Boston, has some thoughts on Donnie Wahlberg, and how he is kissing and licking on the turgid shafts of all the officers down at the good ol’ Boston PD. You could read it! It is weird, Faraone does not seem to care for them, huh! [DigBoston] … [Read more...]

Tom Clancy Killed By Death At 66

Tom Clancy, the author of thrillers like The Hunt for Red October and Patriot Games, has died in a Baltimore hospital at the age of 66. The Hunt for Red October happened along at a perfect time for a technologically driven thriller about a rogue Soviet submarine captain; President Ronald Reagan called it “the perfect yarn” and “non-put-downable.” Clancy returned the favor, … [Read more...]

On Scale Of One To Dana Rohrabacher, How Drunk Is Dana Rohrabacher In This Video?

This video of Marsha Blackburn, the gentlelady from Stepford, and Dana Rohrabacher, “the” “surfing” “congressman” (he lies as much about surfing as he does the rest of the time his lips are moving), is a few days old. It is so old that the government hadn’t even shut down yet, nor herded all the World War II veterans into their FEMA camps! But we are … [Read more...]

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Being Ugly And Vile

Golly, it’s been a busy week for the ol’ comments queue! Our first offering to the goddess Deletia is from the subject of one of our recent posts, Lee Stranahan of Ghost Breitbart’s Home for Endless Rightwing Butthurt. Sad Lee haz a sad because we did not recognize that his post about Matthew Shepard’s murder was a brilliant analysis of the left’s perfidy: I know you … [Read more...]

Red State’s Erick Erickson Goes Gynecological On GOP And Obamacare

Erick son of Erick, with extra Erick on the side, we are just so mad at you. Once again you have failed us all, and not just for being the wrongest Erick ever to Erick. We are mad because in your latest great attempt to be a big old “yeah I said it” sayer of terrible things, you were completely unable to man up and straight out call out the female-body-part-that must not be named, and … [Read more...]

Appeals Court Says Catholic-Owned Business Still Has To Pay For Slut Pill Insurance

A federal appeals court upheld the Affordable Care Act’s requirement that insurance plans cover contraception, even when employers are personally offended by the idea that their slutty employees might be having sex in ways that the employers’ imaginary friends don’t approve of. A Catholic family that owns a controlling interest in two private companies had claimed that the … [Read more...]

Bristol Palin Wants To Singlehandedly Murder Planned Parenthood, With Her Vagina

Noted debutante Bristol Palin, who became an unwilling postergirl for chastity and purity and second virginities and whatnot (second virginities are when you only give up the butt), has done posted a “thought” on the MyFace and her dumb religion blog, and honestly, she is probably plumb tuckered out from having it ghostwritten for her. What is echoing around Bristol Palin’s … [Read more...]

We Were Told There Would Be No Math In Your Gun Fun Times Roundup

Greetings, filthy liberal gun grabbers! Does this seem like a bad time for a roundup of stupid gun-related news? We were thinking about writing this periodic update over the weekend, and then Monday happened, and also Sad Lee Stranahan was manfully whining at us for being mean to him just because he’s A Idiot, and it just seemed safer for our blood pressure to stay off of Twitter and the Internet … [Read more...]

We Are In Dirty Hippie Love With This Oregon Health Exchange Ad

Butthurt Alert/Drudge Sirens! A number of rightwing sites are outraged, Outraged! at this “acid trip Obamacare ad” that “costs taxpayers $3.2 million” — a figure that appears to include not only the production costs, but also the cost of buying ad time and other PSA’s, not that the angerbears at Americans for Tax Reform bother with that distinction. We … [Read more...]

CJ Cregg Does ‘The Jackal’ Again, Like It Is Still 2002 And We Still Love Our Fake Liberal President

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Wonkette Completely Destroyed By Cenk Uygur’s Blistering Logic Bombs

Well, golly, we sure did attack that Cenk Uygur something fierce! The “attack” consisted of mentioning that a recording of Eleanor Holmes Norton leaving a message asking for a campaign contribution was from 2010, and in suggesting that it didn’t sound like “extortion” to us. (We also made fun of the video’s “taco robot death march” closed … [Read more...]

Liveblogging Barack Obama Pretending Martin Luther King Jr. Was A Liberal

[Update, 4:30 p.m.: Now that the live stream is over, we've added in the last few speakers from the hours-long event: John Lewis, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Martin Luther King III, Christine King Farris, Bernice King, and President Barack Obama.] We are just going to jump in and start liveblogging the anniversary of the 1963 March On Washington for Jobs and Freedom; we wonder if it will be … [Read more...]

Feminists Hysterical

Why are the feminazis burning their bras and refusing to shave their pits today? Oh, just the usual: A judge’s conclusion that a 14-year-old Billings rape victim was “as much in control of the situation” as her schoolteacher rapist has sparked outrage across the nation. Organizers have scheduled a Thursday rally and a petition drive against District Judge G. Todd Baugh, who Monday handed down a … [Read more...]

You Will Definitely Believe How Racist This Daily Caller Article Is

We’ve seen a lot of racist nonsense in our time, but this contribution from the Daily Caller and Major General US Army Jerry Curry Retired Thank Goodness is truly special, a diamond-encrusted nuclear butt plug of are-you-even-serious-dude that makes us wonder if Jerry Curry, who served semi-prominently under Carter, Reagan, and Bush Sr., is feeling okay. Because holy. fucking. shit (emphasis … [Read more...]

Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Rewrites ‘I Have A Dream’ Speech To Count The Ways Black People Suck

Even the most casual reader of the Intertubes is aware that former Rep. Joe Walsh (R-DEADBEAT) is pretty much one of the worst people in the history of ever. (Yes, yes, we know: Hitler, Stalin, and Dick Cheney are much worse and belong in their own category of Even Worse Than Joe Walsh.) But aside from the perpetrators of genocide and vice presidents who shoot their buddies in the face and then … [Read more...]

Howard Kurtz Appoints Himself Chief Constabulary Of The Islamic Religious Police

Prepare to clutch your pearls, wonketeers. We have on our hands a tawdry display of vile sexuality that absolutely DEMANDS to be shown to the world. It seems that a politician errr, a journalist the private-citizen daughter-in-law of a retired journalist has put up some super-racy photos on the Facebooks! Gasp! and bring me a cool mint julep for my sensibilities have been affronted. And Howard … [Read more...]

Liberal Institute For Policy Study Lies About Rich People With Clever Use Of ‘Math’

Hey 47%ers! Feeling frustrated with your shitty, under-paying, going nowhere faster than a tax bill in Congress career? (Haha, what’s a “career”?) Just in case you were having a less than raged out rampagey day, The Institute for Policy Study has the perfect report to ease us all into giving in to giving up. More than one-third of the nation’s highest-paid CEOs from the … [Read more...]

Nice Time: Good Guy With A Calm Voice Stops A Bad Guy With A Gun

Here’s an actual hero: Antoinette Tuff, a clerk at Ronald E. McNair Discovery Learning Academy in Decatur, Georgia, who talked Michael Brandon Hill into laying down his semiautomatic rifle and abandoning his plan to commit suicide by cop yesterday. Hill had come to the school expecting to shoot up the school and then to die in a shootout with police; instead, Tuff talked to him for an hour … [Read more...]