Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Rewrites ‘I Have A Dream’ Speech To Count The Ways Black People Suck

Even the most casual reader of the Intertubes is aware that former Rep. Joe Walsh (R-DEADBEAT) is pretty much one of the worst people in the history of ever. (Yes, yes, we know: Hitler, Stalin, and Dick Cheney are much worse and belong in their own category of Even Worse Than Joe Walsh.) But aside from the perpetrators of genocide and vice presidents who shoot their buddies in the face and then … [Read more...]

Howard Kurtz Appoints Himself Chief Constabulary Of The Islamic Religious Police

Prepare to clutch your pearls, wonketeers. We have on our hands a tawdry display of vile sexuality that absolutely DEMANDS to be shown to the world. It seems that a politician errr, a journalist the private-citizen daughter-in-law of a retired journalist has put up some super-racy photos on the Facebooks! Gasp! and bring me a cool mint julep for my sensibilities have been affronted. And Howard … [Read more...]

Liberal Institute For Policy Study Lies About Rich People With Clever Use Of ‘Math’

Hey 47%ers! Feeling frustrated with your shitty, under-paying, going nowhere faster than a tax bill in Congress career? (Haha, what’s a “career”?) Just in case you were having a less than raged out rampagey day, The Institute for Policy Study has the perfect report to ease us all into giving in to giving up. More than one-third of the nation’s highest-paid CEOs from the … [Read more...]

Nice Time: Good Guy With A Calm Voice Stops A Bad Guy With A Gun

Here’s an actual hero: Antoinette Tuff, a clerk at Ronald E. McNair Discovery Learning Academy in Decatur, Georgia, who talked Michael Brandon Hill into laying down his semiautomatic rifle and abandoning his plan to commit suicide by cop yesterday. Hill had come to the school expecting to shoot up the school and then to die in a shootout with police; instead, Tuff talked to him for an hour … [Read more...]

Republican Plan To Prove Abortion Is Dangerous And Bad Proves Exact Opposite, Oops!

Aw, shucks, looks like we have some bad news for Republicans with an all-kinds-of-twisted fetish for trying to ban abortion. In May, Republican members of two congressional committees—the House Judiciary Committee and House Energy and Commerce Committee—wrote letters to the departments of health and attorneys general in all 50 states, asking for thousands of pages of information about how each … [Read more...]

Forget ‘White Hispanic’; Daily Caller, Fox, Find White Teen Who Is ‘Black’

So, you may have heard about the awful murder of an Australian baseball player by three teens in Duncan, Oklahoma. The killers more or less admitted to killing Chris Lane for the fun of it as he was out for a jog. It’s sick and disgusting. But what’s really outrageous, according to Fox & Friends, Fox Nation, WND, the Daily Caller, and former congresscritter Allen West, is the … [Read more...]

Michigan Congresscritter Bravely Didn’t Vomit Near Obama, Will Impeach Him Just As Soon As He Figures Out How

Here is a video of Michigan Rep. Kerry Bentivolio at a town hall on Monday, explaining that it would be a “dream come true” to impeach President Obama, if only he could scrape up some kind of evidence of a crime. The clip has gotten a fair bit of attention because of Bentivolio’s claim that he’s already met with lawyers to find out how to impeach the President, but we were … [Read more...]

Dumb Texas Governor Rick Perry Hates Obamacare, Would Like Some Obamacare Please

Oh hell yes. Coyote-shootin’, painkiller-gobblin’, can’t remember three things in a row master debater with the super awesome hair Governor from Texas Rick Perry emerged from his closet today to beg for Obamacare money because of how much he hates Obamacare money. But, hey man, a hundred million dollars is a hundred million dollars and Rick wants it for his state and we are sure … [Read more...]

San Diego Gets Own Nuclear Debacle As Fukushima Pees Radiation Into The Sea

San Diego’s San Onofre nuclear plant isn’t melting down. It isn’t leaking huge amounts of radiation (that we know of). Heck, it’s not even generating power! That’s because the steam generators Southern California Edison installed at San Onofre broke down just two years into their expected 20 year service life. They can’t be fixed, of course, and now the whole … [Read more...]

The Daily Caller Reveals: Barack Obama Is A Lady, With Oves And Fallopes And A Vagina And Everything

Here’s one way to generate some content on a slow news day. Mark Judge, author of A Tremor of Bliss (ick!), has a thing at Tuckerson Carlicue’s House of Words ‘n’ Boobs titled “Barack Obama: the first female president.” And then he explains that he’s come to this conclusion honestly: And no, it’s not because President Obama doesn’t hunt or drink a lot … [Read more...]