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Have You Met Our New Writers, A Nice Lady And Wonderbitch?

You may have noticed that ol’ Wonkette dot com tends to be a pretty white sort of place. We have a gay, and a senior, and a bunch of vagendas, but it’s been really some time since we had any writers of color. And when you write quite a bit about police brutality, the justice system, and Jeff Sessions, that severe lack becomes severely embarrassing. Well, we put out a call over the … [Read more...]

Through Snow And Rain And Sleet And Hail: It’s New York And DC Drinky Things!

We thought about canceling on yinz … wait, that is Pittsburgh. We thought about canceling on tu ustedes, but what is a little nor’easter between friends? We will see you TONIGHT, Brooklyn, New York, at your comrade Erin’s restaurant Grindhaus, 275 Van Brunt St., Red Hook, Brooklyn, we will call it 7-9 p.m. and NO LATER because apparently we have to take a ferry home. (Food is on … [Read more...]

Montana Sheriff To Ragemonster Republican Thug Greg Gianforte: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Last night, we heard what Greg Gianforte — the billionaire Republican nominee for today’s election for Montana’s sole House seat — does when there are witnesses present. (We’re not saying, but we’re just saying: Has anyone checked on his wife?) According to Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs, who you can hear was clearly in shock, Gianforte “bodyslammed” … [Read more...]

Mike Flynn Trump ISIS Turkey Trump Grand Jury Trump More Secret Russia Meetings … And Trump!

Last night, at the Reporters’ Witching Hour of 6 p.m. Eastern, came the bombshell Trump-Russia stories we’ve come to expect at that time of the evening: that Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein had looked far and wide and collected the scattered remains of his reputation and appointed straight-arrow Robert Mueller as Special Counsel, and that the Washington Post had audio … [Read more...]

What Ridiculous Lie That Makes No Sense Is Trump Making Up For No Reason Today?

At least Stalin put some effort into his staged photos. SAD! WEAK! PATHETIC! … [Read more...]

Did You Get This Nice Letter From President Obama Too?

HOW IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING … [Read more...]

Let’s Watch Steve Mnuchin Evict Somebody Live At His Senate Confirmation Hearing!

Park your butt down, we got us a livestream! … [Read more...]

New York Times May Have Cleared Trump Of Russian Collusion A *Tad* Prematurely

This never would have happened under Jill Abramson. … [Read more...]

Real Piece Of Sh*t White Guy Doesn’t Understand Why He Has To Stay In Jail For Killing Black Boy

He said the way he saw it, he just got another piece of trash off the street. … [Read more...]

Trump Picks Woman For UN Ambassador Who Isn’t Actually A Monster In Human Form, So … Great!

Nikki Haley did a good thing once. Which is better than all the possible cabinet picks who HAVEN'T. … [Read more...]

Wonkette Self-Care For Nov. 16: This Terrible Angelina Jolie Movie

Here is a thing you can watch that is not about politics. And it. is. THE. WORST! … [Read more...]

It’s A Nice Day For A Wonkette Wedding

Mandatory musical accompaniment to this post, for when you decide to have a perfect day, getting MARRIED TO HEROIN. How do you throw a perfect wedding in just six weeks to celebrate your love and eternal commitment and success at babby-forming (which you magically embedded on your very first date)? We, your mommyblog recipe hub, are here to help. 1. Move someplace where people are going to have … [Read more...]

STOP IT. STOP SETTING YOURSELVES ON FIRE ON THE NATIONAL MALL.

We had the immense great pleasure (not really) of ear-witnessing the police kill that poor postpartum crazy lady at the Capitol yesterday. (We actually had “postpartum” when we heard there was a baby in the car, till we were swayed by the equally valid suggestion “some man in the White House is shitting himself right now.”) There we were, minding everybody’s business, … [Read more...]

Ann Romney Not Worrying Her Beautiful Mind About Neighbors’ Unhappiness With Grotesque Beach Mansion

In her quest to build a modest 11,000-square-foot cottage not in anyone’s way at all right there on that public beach, Ann Romney is starting to sound a little like America’s most favoritest belovedest totally great lady, one Barbara “gentle murmurs” Bush. Neighbors may be unhappy over the Romneys’ … hmmm … lack of politesse (THE ROMNEYS??? THE FUCK YOU … [Read more...]

Donnie Wahlberg Hanging Tough While Fellating Boston PD

Our old pal Chris Faraone, writing at our new pal Dig Boston, has some thoughts on Donnie Wahlberg, and how he is kissing and licking on the turgid shafts of all the officers down at the good ol’ Boston PD. You could read it! It is weird, Faraone does not seem to care for them, huh! [DigBoston] … [Read more...]

On Scale Of One To Dana Rohrabacher, How Drunk Is Dana Rohrabacher In This Video?

This video of Marsha Blackburn, the gentlelady from Stepford, and Dana Rohrabacher, “the” “surfing” “congressman” (he lies as much about surfing as he does the rest of the time his lips are moving), is a few days old. It is so old that the government hadn’t even shut down yet, nor herded all the World War II veterans into their FEMA camps! But we are … [Read more...]

Bristol Palin Wants To Singlehandedly Murder Planned Parenthood, With Her Vagina

Noted debutante Bristol Palin, who became an unwilling postergirl for chastity and purity and second virginities and whatnot (second virginities are when you only give up the butt), has done posted a “thought” on the MyFace and her dumb religion blog, and honestly, she is probably plumb tuckered out from having it ghostwritten for her. What is echoing around Bristol Palin’s … [Read more...]